Interlunium
by Storm of Illusions
Summary: R Break up. ...you did it for your own selfish need for me to stay alive not even stopping for a second to consider telling me about this stupid dream of yours so I could at least have something to say about it! UsagiMamoru.


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Interlunium

I n. Latin. Change of the moon, time of a new moon.

She knocked the door, fiercely. After everything, she knew she had to come here, to see him. She was tired of denying, tired of feeling cold, tired of his attitude.

It had been a month. A whole month without his warmth… without _him_. She had gone crazy and the hollowness she felt grew each day. Plenty of _why_s visited her mind daily and now that she'd known the reason she'd be damned if she spent another sleepless night because of him.

He opened the door, dressed only with a towel. Another one was hanging on his right shoulder and she could clearly see he had been using to dry his dark hair.

The expression on his face was one of surprise and acceptance. She saw him sigh slightly before opening the door completely. He didn't speak while he led her in but she didn't mind – they didn't need to talk, not yet at least.

She sat on the couch while he went to change. Looking around the living room she once again had to hold her composure otherwise she would put everything at risk. She needed to be steady, to be strong. He had to be able to see she was not a child who he had to make decision for. Her train of thoughts was interrupted as he came back, fully dressed now.

He looked at her, his expression a struggle between angst and quiet resignation. He sighed once more and asked her if she want something to drink.

She nodded and he came back with some hot cocoa for the two of them.

She took a sip from her cup while he sat down on the other end of the couch. They remained silent for a moment but Mamoru spoke first, "Why are you here?" He never looked into her eyes the whole sentence preferring to stare at his own cup. His voice was no louder then a murmur and it was a clear contrast to the raging storm outside the apartment.

"You know why I'm here." Usagi's was as silent but she chose to maintain a piercing gaze on his face, "did you really expect me not to find out? Do you really find me so stupid?"

Usagi noticed him tense for a second but continued nonetheless, "look at me while I'm taking, Mamo-chan, I deserve that at least."

As soon as Mamoru did so, Usagi realized it had been a mistake. His eyes contained none of the uncertainty, of the silent resignation it had possessed before. In its place, the stoic mask she had grown to known – but never gotten accustomed to – during their month of separation had appeared.

"I don't know what you're talking about Usagi."

Usagi frowned; a usual thing she had been doing a lot lately, she idly noticed. "Do you not, Mamo-chan? Really?" She waited his response, giving him a chance to back out of the game he apparently wanted to play.

"No, _Usagi_, I don't."

"I think you do, Mamo_ru_," she noticed him flinch slightly at the name, "tell me, did you really expect the one who sent you these dream not send me one too?"

Mamoru froze his eyes returning to his cup. "What… what dreams, Usagi, what are you talking about?"

Usagi put down her cup on the table a little more forcefully then she meant, producing a loud noise as the glass hit the table and stood up. "Stop that, Mamoru, okay? I _dreamt_ it! The secret's out!"

"Okay. _Okay." _He put his own cup down and stood as well. "I doesn't change anything. It doesn't matter how I feel, _can't be together!"_

Anger flashed in Usagi's eyes, it was clearly visible, "how you feel? How _you_ feel?" She stepped closer to him, "what about how _I _feel? Did you _ever_ pause to consider that?"

"What do you mean by that? I did it all for you!"

"Did it all for me? No! You did it for you! You did it for your own selfish need for me to stay alive not even stopping _for a second_ to consider telling me about this _stupid_ dream of yours so I could at _least_ have something to say about it. After all, it affects _my damn life_!" She took a deep breath to control her anger, before continuing, "why did you do it? Why didn't you talk to me? Why didn't you tell me?"

Mamoru looked away. "I… I was scared."

Usagi softened a bit at this, Mamoru had one lost expression painted on his face that she almost regretted her words.

"That… That voice kept telling me you'd… die if you stayed with me. At first I… I didn't believe it," Mamoru shook his head and looked eagerly at her, "I didn't, Usako, but there was a new enemy and…" He sighed, "how many times have you died? Because of me? So I guess… I guess you are right, I _am_ selfish…"

Usagi closed her eyes and let go a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. This was no use; she needed to think. She sat down once again on the couch noticing Mamoru had done the same and was looking at her with an expression of apprehension.

She asked in a small voice, looking out in the balcony's direction, "so what now?"

Mamoru looked away also, "what do you want to do?"

Usagi snorted, "decided to ask my opinion now?"

Mamoru only looked at with a pained expression.

"Alright," she more sighed then said, "I want us to be together but…"

"But?"

"I don't know if I can trust you."

Mamoru half nodded and they remained in silence. Usagi didn't know what to say, she never actually thought of what she wanted do when she planed this ahead. At the time, she wanted to get the reason out of him but she never quite expected to be able to do so. She watched as Mamoru suddenly stood up – as if he had made up his mind – and knelt before her, taking her hands in his.

"I'm sorry. For all this. I… I never meant to hurt you the way I did but I… couldn't bear it if you died!" As he looked up into her eyes, Usagi could see tears forming, "I can't- I can't lose you Usako. I love you." He kissed her hands sweetly, "please, forgive me?"

Usagi sighed briefly and closed her eyes. Could she? Could she forgive him? Forget all the pain he put her through the whole month? The hurt, the betrayal, the helplessness, the self-doubt? She thought not. That was until his hands travel up her cheek to her eyes – an unspoken request for her to open them.

And she did. She opened her eyes to look at his. She barely notice he was no longer kneeling and now was sit next to her, so close he was almost pinning her down on the couch.

Letting go of her former resolve, she breathed deeply before answering, "yes."

He sighed slightly, "but?"

"But you must promise me you will never do that again. You must stop seeing me as a child and let me make my decisions for myself. I'm letting myself trust you again, Mamoru, please, don't make me regret this."

"I won't. I promise you that."

He was leaning his face, Usagi could feel the scent of his aftershave. She whispered, "good" and he smiled slightly before kissing her softly on the lips. Then, slowly, parting her lips with his tongue and sighing at her taste, he kissed her passionately.

Eventually, the need to breathe was too much and they parted, breathing heavily.

Mamoru adjusted his position so he could hold her and Usagi sighed contently, feeling blur which she have been living for the last month leave.

"You know," Mamoru started, "even though I told you I loved you, you never said it back."

The tone was playful but Usagi could sense a little apprehension from it. She rolled her eyes, "I love you… Mamo-chan."

Mamoru looked a relieved at this and stroked her hair, leaning his cheek on top of her head. Usagi could feel him smiling as he whispered, "good."

Usagi closed her eyes but before that, she caught a glimpse out of the window.

It was no longer raining.

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This is my first SM fanfiction. What did you think? I'm any good in writing romance but yesterday I got out of the shower and this Bunny Plot wouldn't leave me alone! I tried giving him carrots but he would look at my with those big Anime eyes and I wouldn't stop! And you know what? He still ate the carrots.


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